Neuro to Earth, Normalcy to Ashes, Obento to Dust
by Schermionie
Summary: Chapter Two: "Everyone in the classroom stared right at her, trying to see through her hesitant question. And a split second later, the whispering began." Yako had always hoped this wouldn't happen... but now it had. Let this day be over soon!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** The owner of "Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro"... is me! Kidding. It belongs to Yuusei Matsui.

**A/N:** This originated from a drabble collection I was writing about the "uninteresting" mysteries in Hell, which somehow extended to more general drabbles about Neuro. I'm not sure if I'll post any more since although I have some I'm out of ideas for others, and don't know if my inspiration will return. Tell me if you'd like to see what else I have; any feedback is welcome.

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Katsuragi Yako considered herself accustomed and well equipped to deal with the many moods of her eclectic and demonic assistant (read: evil slave driver). She had seen him intrigued by mysteries great and small, energised or unfulfilled when he had consumed them. She had seen him angry or frustrated over many things, things which he often claimed to be her fault; she had even seen him sleeping, peaceful dreams of the ultimate mystery penetrating his sleep, perhaps. Or maybe he dreamed of winged monkeys who wanted to spread the love - hell, she didn't know, and she didn't really want to, either.

But her certainty that she knew Nougami Neuro was challenged one day when she entered their detective agency after school, only to find him pointing at a wall-length mirror on the far wall and saying in a deep, accusatory voice, "The culprit... is you!"

"Neuro," Yako squeaked, a little caught off balance by Neuro's unusual behaviour, "What are you doing?"

Neuro smiled, strangely smug, and merely replied with, "Practising."

"But-" Yako began, before shaking her head. "Never mind," she said, taking out an extra obento from her bag and sitting down to tuck into it.

The room was promptly filled with the sounds of Yako pigging out, Godai sulking and Akane typing rude words into search engines, as she was wont to do if she was bored. It didn't often happen, but everyone seemed in more of a... relaxed mood today. Or rather, Neuro hadn't asked anyone to do anything, so they hadn't.

Just as she thought this, Neuro broke the silence, almost as if he'd been _waiting _for everyone to relax before he said anything. "I smell a mystery," he said as Yako opened her third meal. "Come, Slave #1. Put away the food and do what I tell you to - if your tiny and unevolved brain can understand my instructions, that is."

Yako bristled. "But I only just started on this one-"

"I know," Neuro interrupted, somewhat enigmatically. "That's why I said it."

Slave #1 narrowed her eyes. She did _not _like where this conversation was going. "What do you mean?"

"As I said, I'm practising. My due date for this year's Mystery Solving Demon Progress Report is nearing, and it has been some time since I practised my dramatic timing."

"Mystery-solving is a _job_ in Hell?" Yako frowned, momentarily forgetting her displeasure.

Neuro stared at her with condescending eyes. "Naturally. If the report shows no particular progress, my Demon powers will be restricted until further notice. As it is your procrastination and stupidity that are to blame for my less than impressive performance of late, it is logical that you help me practice."

"_My _fault, huh?" Yako asked, her face twitching with anger. "And what about the negative impact you're having on _m_y studies? I need time to work, too. I've got a load of homework in my bag that won't do itself, so if you need to practice do it quietly and _without_ asking me for help. For once."

With that, Yako reached for her temporarily discarded obento and made to remove some textbooks from her school bag, only to realise that the books had turned to dust, only to see her perfectly made, surely delicious meal decaying before her very eyes.

The temperature of the room lowered noticeably.

"What did you do, Neuro?"

"It was a good way to test my skills. If you had evolved into a creature above a worm, you would have been able to heed the advanced warning I considerately gave you."

Since when was the room this _cold_?

"Warning...?!"

"When you came in, I told you that the culprit was me, correct? Small details like that can be crucial to an investigation, Slave #1. Don't miss them, or I may have to bite your head off and replace it with something more intelligent. Perhaps a beetle - yes, a beetle would do well..."

Yako lunged forward suddenly, screaming, "Oh, Neuro, you are so dead! SO DEAD!"

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Had it lying around, so decided to post it anyway. Takes place after the first chapter, but not at any specific time. Thanks to**Unknown D Flamerose**, **The Sora-muffin **and **Lady of the Shire** for reviewing & favouriting chapter one, **Charmshadow **for reviewing and **Blue Inu** for favouriting also. Feedback for this chapter would be heartily appreciated, too.

**Disclaimer:** Are you kidding? Of course I don't own it.

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Nougami-sensei

Nougami Neuro had infested many areas of Katsuragi Yako's life, in a manner she would probably never be _entirely _comfortable with. He was more humanised now (sort of), yet still he enjoyed torturing her, often so much that he would come up with cruel and unusual punishments every now and then. The crime? Inability to "evolve".

But she never thought he would go _this _far, not when he had so many other things to be getting on with. She thought he had at least _some _sense of decorum, _some _heart.

Apparently, she'd been wrong. And it wasn't just the usual "mixed up ramen orders" wrong she faced suspiciously often. It was the "my evil slave driver has gone one step too far and has rid me of the small haven I had previously" wrong.

Yup. It's just as bad as it sounds.

"Class, as you know, Ogata-sensei is taking a short holiday," the Headmaster of Yako's school announced, as he and two others stepped into classroom B. "So we'll be welcoming two new additions to our staff, Nougami Neuro-sensei and his assistant Godai Shinobu-sensei, who will be your supply teachers for this short time. Please help them settle into this new environment," the portly man continued, inclining his head politely to the class. The two new teachers did the same and Yako, despite all the emotions swirling through her head, could not help but find it a little funny. She could have sworn she saw a vein in Godai's forehead twitching, and just the thought of how the class would react when Neuro dropped his trademark harmless smile made her both sick and want to laugh.

When it happened in reality, she quickly chose the former option.

"Hello, worms!" Neuro grinned wickedly, mere seconds after the Headmaster had made his apologies and left the room. His pointed teeth made him look like a mad-man, determined to do unspeakable things to them before brutally killing them off. "I'm sure we'll get along just fine, right, Godai-sensei?"

The weird thing was, Yako knew he was capable of and probably _would _do something like that if given the right motive. Yet she wasn't the only one to shrink back in fear, repulsion, or a disgusting cocktail of both. Neuro's fumbling attempts to salvage the situation when he realised how badly he'd just done only made things worse: when he slung his right arm round a protesting and clearly disgusted Godai, who nonetheless tried to force a smile for the audience, it looked more like two madmen pretending to like each other in order to escape from a terrible institution of some kind, not cheerful camaraderie.

Disgusted with herself as she'd probably feel later - _They shouldn't have come here in the first place - why should I help them?_ - Yako knew she had to do something, and fast. For whatever reason they were here, if they got caught out as fakes Neuro would definitely find a way of blaming it all on her, and in a sense these two were her friends.

A very loose sense.

"Um, Neu- I mean, Nougami-sensei, what will you be teaching us today?" It was the first question that came to her mind, and it came out louder than she'd thought it would.

Everyone in the classroom stared right at her, trying to see through her hesitant question. And a split second later, the whispering began.

_"What does she mean 'What will you be teaching us'? Surely it's more like 'How are you going to cook us?' or something?"_

_"I bet she's actually really scared... Ah, Katsuragi, so brave!"_

_"Who does she think she is? Just 'cause she's some kind of low-rate detective doesn't mean she can just be bold like that! She's just trying to stand out even more."_

"Shut yer traps, kiddies!" A sudden voice cut through the whispering, and it ceased almost instantly. It wasn't Neuro speaking, but the tone was almost as authoritative.

Neuro fixed his stare upon Yako, who wasn't sure whether he approved of her actions or not. The silent exchange of glances did not last long, however, and in the blink of an eye Neuro's arm was away from Godai's shoulder, his trademark harmless smile returned.

"Sorry, sorry, class. I'm just a little nervous..." He turned to the blackboard as Yako began hunting through her bag, bringing out a very thick -- and fairly new -- textbook.

He lifted a piece of chalk from his desk -- oh, God, _his _desk -- which instantly disintegrated in his hands. He looked at it, smiling smugly, before turning back to the kiddies, most of who had fortunately not noticed. "So: today, we will be learning about" -- Yako held up a history textbook in the background --"...geography! Yes. Fascinating subject. Now... Can anyone tell me where we are?"

Later, Yako would find caricatures of herself drawn on the blackboard, the walls, doors, drinking fountains and, apparently, every single desk in the school. The Headmaster was not especially pleased, though he _did_ comment on the drawings' _amazing_ likeness.

She'd never liked him anyway.

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End file.
